How can you tell the difference between Christianity and an abusive relationship partner?

"In light of these traits of God, not denied even by Christians - his demand for complete control over his followers' lives, his pervasive jealousy, his regarding men as superior to women, his short temper, his use of both emotional putdowns and physical violence, his blaming the targets of his wrath for making him angry, his constant criticism, and his impossibly high expectations - all the characteristic signs of an abusive relationship - why do Christians continue to worship him? Why do they not only excuse this behavior, not only defend it, but in many cases refuse to recognize that there is anything wrong with it at all? Why, indeed, do they continue to regard this deity as loving, kind, compassionate and merciful, despite this clear evidence to the contrary? "-

Introduction

—

“

Hello, my name is Jesus. I love you deeply. I have loved you since you were conceived in the womb and I will love you for all eternity. I died for you on the cross because I love you so much. I long to have a loving personal relationship with you. I will answer all of your prayers through my love. But if you do not get down on your knees and worship me, and if you do not EAT MY BODY and DRINK MY BLOOD, then I WILL INCINERATE YOU WITH UNIMAGINABLY TORTUOUS PAIN IN THE FIRES OF HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY

”

There are many parallels between Christianity and abusive relationships.

1. Abusive relationships
   1. Abusive partners convince the victim that she (occasionally he) is worthless, deserves the abuse and needs to be perpetually grovelling to avoid further punishment.
   2. Abusive partners convince the victim that she can't escape the abuse. Whatever the victim does the abuser will catch up with her.
   3. Victims of abuse are required to be perpetually obedient. They must change their whole lifestyle to fit in with what the abuser wants and avoid violent flare up of the abuser's violent temper.

1. Christianity
   1. Christianity teaches that believers are sinners deserving of Hell. Human beings cannot avoid doing wrong and the more frightened Christians fear every time they sin that they risk punishment/deserve punishment. Christians feel they need to be perpetually grovelling asking God to forgive them. Believers rarely dare to ask why we are guilty over the imperfect nature that God supposedly gave us.
   2. Christianity teaches that believers can't escape God's wrath. Whatever they do God will will catch up with them at the Last Judgement
   3. Christian have to change their whole way of life in obedience to what is seen as God's will. The alternative is perpetual torment in Hell.

Recognising abuse

Is that abusive God getting to you?

1. Are you over defensive, refusing to accept criticism of his character defects?
2. Do you talk regularly to him without any response while he requires total devotion?

Summary

The above is a summary, there is much more good information in the references below.

Note: In abusive human relationships the abusive partner is more often male, still there are abusive wives and girlfriends as well.

There is a good and a a bad side to Christianity, see the category page

See also

• Christian humility
• How can you tell the difference between Christianity and a scam?
• Suffering religion causes

External links

• What do battered wife syndrome and Christianity have in common? This is a brief, easy to read summary.What do battered wife syndrome and Christianity have in common?