Atheism
 
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This tale sprang from the fevered brow of comedian [http://www.emophilips.com/home Emo Philips]. What follows is the portion of interest to [[atheist]]s but it could potentially annoy some [[Christian]]s.
[[Category:Jokes]]
 
This tale sprang from the fevered brow of comedian [http://www.emophilips.com/home Emo Philips]. What follows is the portion of interest to atheists but you anger some christians.
 
   
 
==Transcript (shortened version)==
 
==Transcript (shortened version)==
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He said, "Nobody loves me."
 
He said, "Nobody loves me."
   
I said, "God loves you, you silly ninny."
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I said, "[[God]] loves you, you silly ninny."
   
 
He said, "How do you know there's a God?"
 
He said, "How do you know there's a God?"
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He said, "A Christian."
 
He said, "A Christian."
   
I said, "Me too. Protestant or Catholic?"
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I said, "Me too. [[Protestant]] or [[Catholic]]?"
   
 
He said, "Protestant."
 
He said, "Protestant."
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I said, "Me too! What franchise?"
 
I said, "Me too! What franchise?"
   
He says, "Baptist."
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He says, "[[Baptist]]."
   
 
I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
 
I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
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I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over!
 
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over!
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  +
==See also==
  +
*[[Heresy]] Serious article on heresy
 
[[Category:Jokes]]
  +
[[Category:Christianity]]

Latest revision as of 10:42, 14 October 2014

This tale sprang from the fevered brow of comedian Emo Philips. What follows is the portion of interest to atheists but it could potentially annoy some Christians.

Transcript (shortened version)

I was in San Fransisco once, walking along the Golden Gate Bridge, and I saw this guy on the bridge about to jump. So I thought I'd try to stall and detain him, long enough for me to put the film in. I said, "Don't jump!" and he turns...

He said, "Why was I put on this Earth?"

I said, "My friend, anywhere else you wouldn't stand a chance."

He said, "Nobody loves me."

I said, "God loves you, you silly ninny."

He said, "How do you know there's a God?"

I said, "Of course there's a God. Do you think that billions of years ago a bunch of molecules floating around at random could someday have had the sense of humor to make you look like that?"

He said, "I do believe in God."

I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"

He said, "A Christian."

I said, "Me too. Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me too! What franchise?"

He says, "Baptist."

I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

He says, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He says, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reform Baptist?"

He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist."

I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?"

He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region."

I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over!

See also

  • Heresy Serious article on heresy