Atheism
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Tennantm

A Beef Monkey, with a typical teleportation device on Gallifrey.

Beemonkism is the belief in a God known as Imoteph, an egyptian God in Monkey Form. A Beef Monkey is its real form, and minion, and they have the power to jump on people's heads; instantly killing them. If their religion is rejected they have the power to destroy the cosmic horizon.

Creation

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A monkey called Paul Grayer

Imoteph and the Beef Monkeys were created by themselves on the planet of Gallifrey, coincidently they were ancestors of the Time Lords, the mightiest and most knowledgeful beings who have ever existed, who had control of the TARDIS time machines. Imoteph later moved to Earth because of housing problems and later took refuge in Egypt, to become Imotephi, god of all beef.

Powers

  • Power of Flight
  • Sand Manipulation
  • Time Manipulation
  • Teleportation
  • Human Flesh-to-beef conversion
  • Rapid Cell Regen

Ways to destroy a Beef Monkey minion

  • Call upon God. (Might not work)
  • Do nothing.
  • Reject the religion, this will cause said hostile monkey to die, killing you also.
  • Don't kill it.
  • Stab it with Yggdrasill's knife of everlasting gibbon.
  • Throw Paul Gray at it.
  • Throw a battery made of cells at said monkey.
  • Kill yourself, you're hallucinating. Beef Monkeys aren't real... or are they?
  • Throw some Anti-matter at it. (This will kill you also, as well as the entire world)
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