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| − | The '''Eucharist''' is a symbolic meal when |
+ | The '''Eucharist''' is a symbolic meal when [[Christian]]s eat the body of [[Jesus]] symbolized by bread and drink the blood of Jesus symbolised by wine. Didn't you always think cannibalism was wrong? Different Christian [[sects and denominations]] have different beliefs about exactly what happens during the Eucharist and in the past were prepared to kill and die for their particular version of the [[Mythology]]. |
| − | ==Roman |
+ | ==Roman Catholics== |
| + | {{main}} [[Roman Catholic Mass]]<br> |
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| − | [[Roman Catholic]]s believe the bread and wine |
+ | [[Roman Catholic]]s ''literally'' believe the bread and wine becomes the body and blood of Jesus and get quite worked up over this. |
| + | ==Protestants== |
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| + | [[Protestantism|Protestant]] Christians do not always believe the bread and wine are literally the body and blood of Jesus, and prefer all their own version of this "The Lord's Supper" or "Holy Communion" and it all gets very complicated. |
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| − | [[Faith]]ful Catholics are supposed to have confessed their [[sin]]s to a priest beforehand so they are fit to partake of the Mass, a ritual that requires them to be clean and pure. Of course, they should also be confessing any time they have committed a mortal sin, and all this regular [[confession]] helps keep them psychologically dependent on the priests, so the priests do not have to go on unemployment. |
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| + | ==Flying Spaghetti Monster== |
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| − | Sadly not all priests are so careful about being in good condition before they celebrate Mass. Colm O'Gorman at the age of 14 was raped and repeatedly abused by notorious pedophile priest, Fr Sean Fortune, below is Colm O'Gorman’s account of how much respect Fr Sean Fortune had for the Mass and the Eucharist. |
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| + | The [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]] also provides '''H'''is [[Flying Spaghetti Monster#Unholy Eucharist|blood and body]] for the faithful! |
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| − | <blockquote>On Sunday mornings, after Fortune had abused me, he'd leave me in his bed, in the bedroom in the house there, and come down and say first mass. And I remember that he used to come back after saying first mass, and... sometimes abuse me again. And then I'd have to go downstairs with him and have breakfast, and then come down here for the second mass, and sit and watch him say mass. <ref>[http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/vatican/vatican_ratzinger05.htm Sex Crimes and the Vatican]</ref></blockquote> |
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| + | ==External links== |
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| − | That was a priest who said Mass with literally dirty hands. |
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| + | *[http://atheism.about.com/od/bibledictionaryonline/p/LordsSupper.htm Eucharist, Mass, Communion, the Lord's Supper: What Does the Bible Say?] ''From [[Atheism.About.com]]'' |
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| − | After a priest had done abuse he should not cause suspicion by keeping the congregation waiting. If the priest has time there are two priorities:- |
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| − | #The creepy priest should go to [[Confession]] so he can be in a fit state to handle the sacred host. |
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| − | #The creepy priest should wash his hands so he can avoid spreading [[Germ theory|germs]]. |
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| − | Of the two going to confession is more important, so if the creepy priest is pressed for time there could be germs on the sacred host when he puts it into your mouth. |
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| − | Roman Catholics adore Jesus relatively safely, you book time kneeling, sitting etc in a church before the <s>monster</s> monstrance, (that is the name of the sacred vessel where they put those Jesus crackers) and you just do your favourite spiritual thing near the crackers avoiding any possible infection. <ref>[http://www.medjugorje.org/adore.htm What is Eucharistic Adoration?]</ref> But Jesus commanded the faithful to eat him as well as adoring him <ref>http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=5572</ref> so at least occasionally you ''must'' expose yourself to whatever may be on the hands of that creepy priest. |
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| − | <ref>We hope you like these jokes, the RC's are ''really sensitive'' about jokes that criticise them. We also hope the jokes add publicity over the RC abuse scandal and add pressure onto the RC church to put its dirty house in order.</ref> |
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| − | ==Footnotes== |
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| − | <references/> |
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| − | {{Good and bad Christianity}} |
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[[Category:Christianity]] |
[[Category:Christianity]] |
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Latest revision as of 08:57, 6 February 2018
The Eucharist is a symbolic meal when Christians eat the body of Jesus symbolized by bread and drink the blood of Jesus symbolised by wine. Didn't you always think cannibalism was wrong? Different Christian sects and denominations have different beliefs about exactly what happens during the Eucharist and in the past were prepared to kill and die for their particular version of the Mythology.
Roman Catholics
See the main article on this topic: Roman Catholic Mass
Roman Catholics literally believe the bread and wine becomes the body and blood of Jesus and get quite worked up over this.
Protestants
Protestant Christians do not always believe the bread and wine are literally the body and blood of Jesus, and prefer all their own version of this "The Lord's Supper" or "Holy Communion" and it all gets very complicated.
Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Flying Spaghetti Monster also provides His blood and body for the faithful!
There is a good and a a bad side to Christianity, see the category page